My Alien Love Child

See the fist? Leave this kid alone!

I made a horrible mistake

I got so wrapped up in the number of American fatalities in Iraq that I neglected the men and women who come home wounded. In many cases their entire lifestyles have to change due to amputations and other medical complications from their wounds. The military tries to help these people medically, but they are limited in what they do beyond that.

That's where Homes For Our Troops comes in. This organization builds custom homes for troops who are forced to make lifestyle changes due to their wounds. You may have seen them on Extreme Make-over Home Edition or in a bunch of magazines -- their amazing work is getting the recognition they deserve, and need in order to continue.

Please stop by their website to see what they are all about: http://www.homesforourtroops.org/
If you are able, send them a little something; help make a difference for people who put everything on the line for you.

--E

2,174

2,157

Katrina tolls have soared past 1200 people.

If you are able, please donate to Toys for Tots this Christmas. It is especially important this year with so many families still in shelters and temporary housing.

Save the Bluths!!!!

Fox is threatening to cancel my beloved show, Arrested Development, again. Bastards. They've done pretty much everything they could to kill it this year, so some bigwig out is Fox is probably patting himself on the shoulder right now. But whatever. We must save them. Or the very least, give them a dignified death.

Arrested Development is a fantastic show. Sure, it may take a few episodes to get you into it as the story is fairly well developed at this point. But who could watch a few episodes when Fox couldn't decided *which* Monday night they were going to air it? Duh! Hard to follow a show when its not on regularly and when the network never advertises which weeks that it actually will be on.

Again, I digress. Let's give the Bluths the love they deserve, check out this website to save them: Save Our Bluths they link to some pretty cool merch. If you have the cash splurge for one of the items and become a member of an elite club of people with a smart sense of humor. And by the way, Fox sucks.

New Ink

I promised the guys that when they headlined a tour, I would do this. I love the band; it is such a cool thing to be able to keep in contact with them and watch them get the recognition they deserve. This tattoo was a long time coming and I'm really happy with it. A side benefit is, when customers ask me what it means (and they have), it's like a free advertising. I am a walking Louis XIV billboard. ;-)

2,150

2,133

2,130

2,108

2,093

2,083

2,081

2,078

2,069

2,065

2,059

2,058

Katrina: 1070, Iraq: 2056

Cry Baby Cry

So, I've been a touch cynical lately, I know, I know, its sooo hard to tell... but one of the few things that has been able to pull me out of the bitter funk is the new Santana album, "All That I Am".

Unlike "Shaman" this album is less trendy & more soulful & very yummy. Yes, there are still trendy people collaborating on the album, but its almost as though they all got together & decided they didn't want to repeat the disaster that was Chad Kroeger on "Shaman." (Can you say formulaic?)

"All That I Am" has that good old fashioned hip grinding vibe to it. Excellent. One song in particular, "Cry Baby Cry," features Joss Stone & Sean Paul. Between Joss' luscious voice, that spine tingling guitar & the sexy sexy bass line, you just can't go wrong. Oh, and Sean Paul doesn't hurt, either. Try it out, this album is a winner.

--E

Still Holding at 2,043

Put names and faces to the number here.

2,043

My little Bubble Of Protest

So, this is my car. Her name is Tia and she's been voicing my outrage for two years now. The stickers change every few months. There is one you can't see that says "DEMAND PAPER BALLOTS" up at the top. Some of the harder ones to read say:

"George Bush is a CORPORATE WHORE" (middle white)

"AGAINST THE WAR NOT THE WARRIOR" (right blue on window)

"Where did the WMD GO? Call George at 202-456-1111" (glared out by the sun)

"I'm straight, not narrow"

The little round one is an Air America sticker: airamericaradio.com

If you look to the left, there are my little Louis XIV and NIN stickers. Wouldn't be a rockchick without 'em!

I get tons of reactions from people. I've had notes left on my car, both good and bad, people have flicked me off, given me thumbs up, glared at me and nodded appreciatively at red lights, and on and on.

This is my way of speaking out against the Bush administration. I hope everyone is finding their own ways of making their opinions known

2,037

2,036

I am tired of being quiet. Here are 2,031 reasons why.

At this point its no big secret that I am less than thrilled with our president and pretty well over the war in Iraq. While I understand that there were valid reasons beyond the WMD myth to go into Iraq I am irritated at the arrogance of the Bush Administration to think that the American public wouldn't accept these reasons. Lying is soooo much better.

I am also a former Navy wife. My husband was in the Navy until 2002 and fortunately was allowed to leave military service with an Honorable Discharge when his contract expired. However, I still have friends and family who are enlisted in various branches of the military and I still know people who are currently in Iraq. I worry for them every second of every day. Every American should worry for every service member every second of every day.

I am ashamed that the American media thinks whoever Jennifer Aniston is dating at the moment is more important than what is going on in Iraq. What the fuck?

So I say screw the Bush Administration, who is THRILLED with J.A.'s love life, and screw the American media. Until this war is over I am going to keep a tally of the American lives lost in this sham of a war.

Yes, I understand everyone over there volunteered to join military service and I respect that. My intentions are not to criticize these men and women in any way, shape or form. I am intimately aware of the risks they take and the sacrifices they and their families make every day. I can not describe how grateful I am to each and every one of them. I am devastated at the loss of their lives and would like to honor these brave mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers, sons and daughters, our friends and colleagues.

As of today, November 2nd, 2005, 2031 members of the American military have been killed in this war.

It is also worth noting that as October 26, 1053 people have been confirmed dead as a result of Hurricane Katrina.

Thanks, W.

Tell me, how many cluster fucks can one administration get away with?

--E

My Kid Has Piernos de Pollo

There's a little hand up by the face and I think that's a little chicken leg kicking. (Or it could be that I completely confused the pictures and that's actually the umbilical cord... my memory is complete crap these days.)


Stretching the head back and that little bump on the belly is fist.

The Mystery is Solved!

I'm oh so glad that someone finally figured out what was going on. Global warming? Nah. Weather cycles? Pshaw! Mob hit? ABSOLUTELY!

Here is the real deal, courtesy of that bastion of truth known as FoxNews.com:

Global warming? Act of God? Nope, says one Idaho weatherman — Hurricane Katrina was part of a man-made plot against America.

Scott Stevens, a meteorologist who for nine years has been forecasting the weather on KPVI-TV in Pocatello, says the Yakuza — the Japanese mafia — is using a Russian-made electromagnetic generator to launch terrific storms against the U.S. mainland.

The devastation of New Orleans was in revenge for the U.S. atomic bombing of Hiroshima, Stevens explains on his Web site. He says it will soon be used again against another major American city.

"A battle in the skies is waged daily. Some battles are won and others lost. We yet know not which," Stevens writes on the front page of his site. "For years this massive global project has been under way, but only now is it making it to the forefront of the consciousness of those with curious minds."

Rumors have long circulated of a secret Soviet weather weapon, but Stevens told the Idaho Falls Post Register he became convinced it existed after noticing strange patterns in a Montana cold front in 2004.

"I just got sick to my stomach because these clouds were unnatural and that meant they had [the machine] on all the time," Stevens told the newspaper. "I was left trying to forecast the intent of some organization, rather than the weather of this planet."
Nor is it a coincidence that both Katrina and Ivan — the huge hurricane that hit Florida a year ago — are Russian names, Stevens says.

At least one other scientist, however, thinks it's all a bunch of hooey.

"I have been doing hurricane research for the better part of 20 years now, and there was nothing unusual to me about any of the satellite imagery of Katrina," Robert S. Young, an associate professor of geology at Western Carolina University in Cullowhee, N.C., told the newspaper. "It's laughable to think it could have been man-made."

Other hurricane experts explain that the spate of severe North Atlantic storms in recent years is part of a natural 25- to 30-year cycle. There was a wave of damaging hurricanes between 1935 and 1965, then a lull before the number of bad storms increased again around 1995.

The U.S. government has apparently tried to influence hurricanes, but its Project Stormfury, which from 1962 to 1983 sought to weaken cyclones by seeding the storms' eyewalls with silver iodide, was a failure.

Stevens is unperturbed by those who scoff at his findings.

"I fully expect one more 'event' this year to impact the United States," he writes. "My gut feeling is that it will be an earthquake/volcanic event with intensity of at least 7.5 in magnitude resulting in insured losses to exceed $25 billion."

WALKING ALL OVER THE LITTLE PEOPLE....

George Bush and his government have been the bane of my existence for six years now. But lately, with the hurricaines, they are becoming the thorn in the side of millions of Americans. Want to know why?

Because in order to "fund" the reconstruction of the Gulf Coast, G Dub and his evil cronies are going to cut HUGE amounts of government funding for the following programs, most of which affect the middle and lower-income class:

Here they are. I hope you are sitting down:

(info from Moveon.org)
$225 billion cut from Medicaid, the last-resort health insurance program for the very poor.
$200 billion cut from Medicare, the health care safety net for the elderly and the disabled.
$25 billion cut from the Centers for Disease Control (!!!!!!!!!!!)
$6.7 billion cut from school lunches for poor children
$7.5 billion cut from programs to fight global AIDS (FURIOUS YET?)
$5.5 billion to eliminate all funding for the Corporation for Public Broadcasting
$3.6 billion cut to eliminate the National Endowments for the Arts and Humanities (!!!!!!!!)
$8.5 billion cut to eliminate all subsidized loans to graduate students.
$2.5 billion cut from Amtrak
$2.5 billion to eliminate the Hydrogen Fuel Initiative
$417 million cut to eliminate the Minority Business Development Agency
$4.8 billion cut to eliminate all funding for the Safe and Drug-Free schools program (So whip out those crack pipes kids!)

AND THOSE ARE JUST THE BEGINNING OF THE LIST!
As moveon put it, "This plan is not about "offsetting," or rebuilding—it's about exploiting this crisis to push their longstanding goals for America." How true. The Bush administration will use whatever tragedy it can to provide a smoke screen for their political agenda. THEIR PROPOSAL IS OVER FIVE TIMES THE COST OF RECONSTUCTION. It really makes me ill.

THERE IS SOMETHING WE CAN DO!
Sign the petition to let congress know that the American public is watching and will not stand by and watch while Bush and his uppercrust good ol'boys eliminate funding to some vital programs.

HERE IS THE PETITION:

http://www.political.moveon.org/rebuild/?id=6043-4590252-ekbLk_W3MKpUQuc2CjiO5A&t=3


and HERE is the entire proposal in all of its horror:

http://www.political.moveon.org/images/operation_offset/operation_offset.htm?id=6043-4590252-ekbLk_W3MKpUQuc2CjiO5A&t=4

-A

You People Disappoint Me

And yet I still reward you. I've decided that no news is good news and even though none of you posted on my super important Arrested Development thread (fucking spam doesn't count), you all watched it and my show is safe for at least one more season. So with that, I give you the promised Louis XIV photos.

The first photos are from Music Midtown back in June. Technically, Louis XIV's set back then was my kid's first concert. 'Cept I didn't know it at the time. It just so happened to work out that the next concert I went to after Midtown was a Louis show at the Roxy, so either way it works out. Cool. I threw in a few pics from that show, too. Oh, did I mention that they headlined the Roxy that night and were AWESOME?! I know the awesome part goes without saying, but it was pretty cool to get an official Louis XIV ticket without some other band's name printed on it.

And remember, next Monday, Charlize on Arrested Development. 8 pm. Fox. Be there. My future child's well being depends on it since I won't be able to keep the kid in diapers if I have to shell out for cable. (Yes, I will sink so low as to use my kid... this is for a good cause. Besides which, the kid can hear now and I'm pretty sure I could feel it laughing. Which means my child obviously has good taste and not only enjoys Louis XIV, but is also an AD fan.)

Without further ado...


This is the only decent picture I got at Midtown that included Hot Bass Player. Now I know for future concerts to stand more toward the middle. Even if it means hurting little girls to get there. I promise I won't do any permanent damage. Especially to their libidios.


Here is the lovely Brian, 8 stories tall. Hee hee!


Not to be out done, here is an 8 story Jason. Amy, did I hear you slurping??


This was the clearest shot I got of Mark.


This is the coolest picture I got of Mark, but that stupid line jacks it up. I think there was a breeze or something that screwed it up. A few pics came out like that. I couldn't trash this one though because it was so damn cool. I tried to mess with it in Photoshop. That online class my boss popped for really paid off, huh? Anyway, I don't regret blowing out my cheap ass car speakers one bit. Mark rocks!


Louis XIV at the Roxy in Atlanta, August 2005. Sadly this was the best picture that I got at the Roxy. Stupid no-flash camera.


More of Louis XIV at the Roxy in Atlanta, August 2005.


I just thought this was a funny picture of my dogs.

Now, Watch This

Ok, for TWO YEARS I've been talking about Arrested Development. TWO YEARS PEOPLE! And does anyone listen to me? Noooooo. Of course you'd rather watch freakin' Extreme Make-Over Home Edition. I know Ty Pennington is hot, but until the guy rebuilds homes in Waveland that the insurance companies won't cover because the house was "flooded" rather than "got flooded because the hurricane ripped the roof off" I don't wanna hear it!

Thankfully, Fox agrees with me and they moved my precious (yes, I am almost Golum-esque in my devotion) Arrested Development from Sundays at 8:30 to Mondays at 8. THAT'S TONIGHT PEOPLE! TUNE IN!

Seriously, this is a very smart, funny show. Its been getting a bum rap for years now, I'm guessing in part because of the time slot. There is NOTHING on Monday nights. NOTHING. So you must watch.

I know this is starting to border on begging, but this is the first edgy comedy to hit regular TV in a long time. I can't afford cable, so would you please freakin' give this show a try so that I have something *good* to watch every once in a while? I don't ask for much.

As I bribe, I offer this. Ms. Hottie Hot Charlize Theron is going to be in a bunch of episodes. If you don't believe me that the show is smart and funny, then at least watch for her lovely hotness.

I'm done with the begging. For now.

--E

P.S. If you watch, I'll post more Louis XIV photos... you know you want to see 'em.

The Rockchicks Love Brian...

I figured I would post this pic now. I've had it for a while, but the ultrasound pic was so cool, I didn't want to steal Elaine's thunder. I figured she wouldn't mind a couple claps being given to Brian. I mean...it's Brian. Besides, he can keep the baby company on the site. :-)

You can't see it, but Jason is over to the right cutting his hair using the side mirrors of the tour bus. :-) The guys were SOOOOO awesome to us. Jason seems to have relaxed back to his old self, which is great. Also, "Hot Bass Player's" real name...Jimmy. Isn't that ironic? As far as I'm concerned, our name for him is his only name. PLUS...the guys shop at Target. We first saw them returning on foot from a large shopping expedition at the Target across the street from the venue. Apparently, Elaine and I are not the only ones who love that place. What shocks me is that I STILL shop there even though it's not a nice place to work. go figure. anyway, the show was phenomenal, of course. They really rocked out and it was supremely cool to look around and see people singing along. very cool.

It's all a little bit too much...

Trent posted this link on his site, and I wanted to post it on ours too...

I have to say, reading it is really hard.

http://neworleans.craigslist.org/laf/

Due in February

Is it okay that I just a tiny bit intimidated by this? --E

Yes, that is actually a person growing inside me...

WATCH THIS

Alright, I try not to make a big deal about TV, because, well, it's TV and I'm ashamed to admit that I watch entirely too much of it. However, on a recent sick day I stumbled upon this AWESOME show, Miami Ink, on TLC.

It rocks. The tattoos these guys do are in absolutely incredible. I am so itching for more tattoos now... Plus you get the stories of why the people want these tattoos. Cool.

Anyway, MIAMI INK is on TLC on Tuesdays, with repeats throughout the week. Carve out some time to watch, it is totally worth it.

Check out the website to get viewing reminders and see pics of some of the tattoos the guys have done.

***Aslyn***

I've fallen in love with a singer/piano player we saw with Better Than Ezra last night. Her name is Aslyn and she has a very potent, powerful voice (Matt and I think she could easily be in Rent on broadway...) and her music is great. What's the icing on the cake? The fact that she is this tiny little sprite of a woman with unruly blonde hair and a very sweet personality.

I went out to meet her after her set, and fell a little bit in love. It's pretty rare that you meet someone as talented as she is who is also so friendly and sincere.

Her album is called "Lemon Love" (like cars are lemons). It's damn good.
I think she and our lovely, dirty little Nikka should go on tour together. They could call it the Sugar and Spice tour.

Anyway, that's about it.

Shut Up and Listen

I don't mention music I'm listening to that much here, so let me talk about a brand new album I purchased recently. This is a new segment I would like to call,

"Shut Up and Listen"

Can'tneverdidnothin' by Nikka Costa.

Nikka is an old RockChicks favorite, first introduced to me by Elaine back when we used to terrorize the good folk of Chesapeake, Virginia. Her second album is more funky and more fun. She channels everything from Nina Simone (OK, she doesn't exactly channel Nina so much as brilliantly cover her song "Mosquita's Tweeter." Does anyone know what the hell a tweeter is? anyone? No? OK...) to AC/DC in the guitar and drum-drenched "On and On." I think that in the time between the last album and this one, Nikka has been sitting with her head between the speakers listening to Elaine's Funk CD's and old Led Zeppelin records. The result is a CD that grooves hard but doesn't overextend itself. The lyrics are tongue-in-cheek in some places and mournful in others. Nikka wails and screeches like her life depends on it.

Let's just face it... I'm shamelessly in love with this album.
It's so damn good.

So, please...Go get the CD, and shut up and listen.

Required Reading

Trust me on this:
http://www.liquidgeneration.com/blog/fetusblog/blogger.html

Our Husbands Saved Our Lives at Nine Inch Nails

And thank God for that -- the concert was too good to miss!

We saw Nine Inch Nails at the Tabernacle in Atlanta, on May 21st. There are no words to describe how amazing the show was. But we will try.

Amy, are you out of your lust coma? Would you like to start describing Mr. Trent Reznor's extreme hotness?

Thank you Elaine, of course I would. However, I am not quite out of the lustful state yet. It's not a coma anymore so much as psychosis. I can't listen to With Teeth anymore without picturing the muscular, smoldering, sinewy, gorgeously sweaty, screaming, sighing, aching, REAL Trent. He's REAL! REAL! He EXISTS! We saw him! In fact, we were six feet away during some of the show (until the aforementioned brush with concert death under the feet of a thousand riled up gothies happened) and about five feet away AFTER the show.

He's real. I didn't just dream him up out of what I think are the perfect ingredients to throw together to make someone so hot it hurts. He ISN'T just my dreamed up mix of gruff anger, soulful sensitivity, howling rage, long, lean muscles and poetic anguish, all cleaned up and healthy and beautiful.

TRENT IS A REAL PERSON!

Although, to be honest, I still feel like I was watching it on TV. I've loved that man for half my life. The entire half that has been interested in sex. ;-)

Any more thoughts, Elaine?
p.s. MUST... SEE... HIM... AGAIN.... VOO.... DOO.... MUSIC...FESTIVAL...

Ok, so that covers the Trent is hot aspect. Let's move on to the concert itself. The Dresden Dolls opened and they were awesome. I love the drummer, Brian Viglione. He's very cool. About halfway through the show, Amanda Palmer, weird girl/frontman extrodiare, lifted her arms to reveal very hairy pits. A murmur filled the Tabernacle. That's all I'll say. All in all, they played a very cool set and because of Brian's make-up, I now have a little thing for mimes. Especially if they can drum.

Next up was Nine Inch Nails. Yay. I had to nervous pee until they got on stage. It was ridiculous. *Anyway* I have no idea what song they opened with -- Ames? -- because I was overwhelmed with two feelings at once: holy shit Trent Reznor is right there and holy shit these people are insane, I'm going to die here.

The teeny girl next to me (Ames got swept away in the insanity) and I tried to hold each other and our guys up and ogle TR at the same time. It took a lot of energy. After what seemed like an eternity, but was probably only one song, I said to my wonderful husband "get me out of here!" And he did. The man literally dragged me out of the mosh pit. He is freakishly strong. I am grateful.

Ok, so flash forward a few minutes. Amy and I are in a mosh-free space, reveling in the fact that Trent Reznor is *right there*. We are sharing the same air as him. Holy shit. (Louis XIV, we think the same thing everytime we see you guys, too. I promise.) We start jockeying for a good position. Some blonde chick practically knocks me on my ass on her way to the bar. Hello, I would have moved on my own...

So, back to the music. I honestly don't remember the set list, but I remember specific moments from each song. I'm sure if I thought about it long enough (and at some point I probably will) I could re-assemble it. Just know that they played some awesome old songs and only 3 off the new album. While I would have loved to hear "Only" live, I was still deeply satisfied.

I distinctly remember that in the middle of "Closer" (I don't know why, but I love watching Trent's lips form the word "fuck") Trent did a stage dive. I think Amy and I were completely in each other's head at that moment, because the look on her face said "we never should have left the pit!" and that is exactly what I was thinking. It was very cool -- the stage dive and the venn moment.

There's been a lot of talk about the new band Trent is touring with. I think Jerome is the only guy left from last tour, but you know what? They were awesome together. I don't know if they rehersed a lot or if they're all on the same level or what but the music sounded great. I must admit that I did miss the faces Robin Finck makes on stage, but I honestly didn't even realize that was missing until a day or two after the show. What do you think, Ames? Did you miss Robin? Oh! Don't let me forget to tell them about the annoying chick with the voice.


OK, It's Amy again. No, I didn't miss Robin. I had eyes only for Trent, although I did notice how clean and tight the music was and how well the band seemed to fit together. I have a fondness for Jerome. We won't get into why. ;-)

I wish he would have sung more songs from the new CD because they are SO good. I would have loved to hear "Only," "Every Day Is Exactly The Same," "With Teeth" and "Sunspots." Especially "Only." When that song shifts into part two and it just starts to jam out, I am in the throes of musical ecstacy. seriously. But there are lots of those moments: the double drum beat in the middle of "Do You Know What You Are?" and the piano-backed, kick-drum laced, gorgeously sung bridge in "Every Day" and the sex-drenched lyrics of "sunspots." Yipe.

I LOVE THIS ALBUM SO MUCH.

But I agree, the concert was great. Not only did I get up close with Trent, but there was a brutally hot girl pressing into me for a little while in the pit. Heh heh. I just hope that Trent opens up and does more of the new stuff in upcoming shows. I think he needs to trust his fans. If you would have been there and heard the entire crowd (except for one obnoxious chick)singing along with "Hurt" you would know that his fans love what he does and would love to hear new stuff too.

I think that's all I have? Any closing remarks, Elaine?

Uhhh... he turns me on. he makes it real....

Wait, you meant real closing remarks. Not so much. Just *loved* the show, LOVED it. If NIN is doing a show within a day's drive of you, GO! It's worth it. Pay whatever you have to for tickets. You won't regret it.

Before I go I have a public service announcement. For those who are new to NIN or are attending the concert because someone had an extra ticket, whatever. 1)NIN is sex music. We all know it. No need to announce this during a pivotal moment of a very hot song. 2) DO NOT TALK REALLY LOUD DURING HURT! In fact, it's best not to talk at all. Just be in the music. If you *must* talk, please whisper. I don't need to hear about your purse or the people giving you dirty looks because your voice is too loud. Just SHUT UP. If you must speak, go to the bathroom. Talk there. If you have an extremely nasal voice with a really thick NY accent, please learn sign language. The people around you will be grateful.

That's all I got. Now we have to post pictures. Yummy. Heh heh heh.

Oh, one more thing, Ames, is Hurt about self mutilation?

Elaine, that is horrid.

;-)
I have one more thing too...I am getting sick of hearing people criticizing Trent for the new CD. I LOVE THE NEW STUFF! There are people out there saying that he's gone soft, that he's "turning emo" (I swear, someone told me that today. I about tore her eyes out) and that they wish he would do stuff that is more like The Downward Spiral. You know what? I don't WANT another DS. That album was born out of substance abuse, pain and misery. I love this new CD because you can hear how clear his head is, how crisp and clean and pointed every note and every word is, and how he might still be singing about pain and loss, but he's in a place where he can look back and appreciate where it put him. He makes fun of himself. People are ALLOWED TO CHANGE! Seriously. I criticize bands more for sounding the same on new records, not for sticking their neck out and doing something new. The true fans love this CD. The posers who call "Closer" the "fuck you like an animal song" are the ones who can't appreciate "With Teeth" for what it is: a solid, masterful peice of music. In the immortal words of Garth: LIVE IN THE NOW!!!!

(lookit that, Elaine, I used a Garth quote! heh heh)
OK, rant complete. GO BUY THE ALBUM! IT'S STUNNING.

Have you ever noticed how nicely Wayne's World can wrap things up? I love it!

I agree, Amy. If you want to hear the same music over and over and over again NIN is not the band for you. Good bands evolve. Example: The Beatles. Bands who do the same thing over and over fade into obscurity. Example: Hootie and the Blowfish. Sorry, Hootie fans, its true. They had some good songs, but all their records sound the same to me. Plus, now when I hear their music all I can think about is Burger King. Way to go Darius Rucker. And quite frankly, *I've* evolved. I think if With Teeth sounded just like The Downward Spiral I wouldn't be able to get into it. People grow. Deal with it.

Ames, would you like to have the last word?

Sure.... but first...7 little words...

I HEARD "ONLY" ON THE RADIO TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Between that little fact and the new AMAZING Better Than Ezra, I'm blissful.
The track that Brian and Jason helped them with is called "It's Only Natural" and it's a dirty, acoustic, almost spanish-sounding track. You can clearly hear Brian and Jason singing backup. SO COOL. It's just divine providence that the song is about sex. Heh heh.


God, I love music.
Oh one more thing, I just tracked down the setlist for our show! Here it is:

1. Pinion (I think he was trying to kill us all by opening with such a tough one)
2. The Frail
3. The Wretched
4. Wish
5. Sin
6. The Line Begins to blur (yay for new stuff... Is there somebody on top of me?..)
7. March of the Pigs
8. Something I can never have
9. The hand that feeds
10. Terrible Lie
11. Closer
12. Home
13. Burn
14. Reptile (This song was freakin' AMAZING live)
15. You know what you are (LOVE this song)
16. Suck
17. Gave Up
18. Hurt (EVERYONE sang along. It was a moment of levity) (Everyone except the nasally chick with the purse who insisted on talking through it. But I'm not bitter. Noooooo.)
19. Starfuckers
20. Head like a hole

I'm done, Pequita. ;-)
-JUANITA
p.s. DAMN this is a LONG post.

Yeah, it's long! But Trent deserves it. And look at all of the other stuff we love that we were able to squeeze in. Yay!

Oops, I took the last word. Sorry!

He's Done It Again

With Teeth is so different, so tight, so energetic, so perfect. I love every second of that CD. Thanks Trent. It is ALWAYS worth the wait. ALWAYS.

5 MORE DAYS

Ahh, it is almost here...the looooong awaited release of "With Teeth." I'm beside myself. I get drunk on that man. His voice puts me in a state.

So, Stupid NBC picked a good time to up and cancel my show and rob me of my favorite TV actress Tia Texada, because at least I will have Trent to drown my sorrows in. I'm really going to miss Third Watch, though.

OH YEAH, an update on my whole Anti-Corporate Radio extravaganza...the email that ass from The Buzz sent me got forwarded alllllll the way up the chain of command to the head people at CBS, who owns Viacom, who owns Infinity, who owns the Buzz. Who knows if it will do any good, but it made me feel at least a little vindicated.

One last thing. I'm very upset with Angelina about this whole Brad Pitt thing. I denied the whole deal, but now it looks like it was true. It kinda sucks that she would do this AGAIN with a taken guy. I don't get it. She's so brilliant and magnanimous in other aspects of her life. Why can't she use some of that brain power in her personal life?

I still love her, of course, but I can't seem to muster up the same unbridled enthusiasm for her anymore. Maybe it will come back when Mr. and Mrs. Smith comes out.

Bahhh.

Random Thoughts and Run-ins with Famous People

OK, OK, not just famous people, but Joey Kramer. JOEY KRAMER! I was one step away (ala Kevin Bacon steps) from Joe Perry. Joey bought $113 worth of CD's from me today. How awesome is that? I'm actually glad Joe was not with him, because there is no telling what I would have done. They would have had to peel me from the walls or something.

I got him to sign a CD for me because I am a geek.

Last week, twice, I met Stephanie Seymour, of Victorias Secret/November Rain video fame. She was achingly beautiful in a natural way and very sweet in a shy, delicate sort of way. She forgot her wallet, so she paid with a check. I asked her to please call me once she found her wallet so I could write her drivers license # on it. Sure enough, half an hour later, this soft voice is on the phone" "Amy? It's Stephanie! Here is my drivers license number!" I got home and Matt had dug up his Playboy with her on the cover. I'm brave, but NOT brave enough to ask her to sign that. "Hey Stephanie, here is you buck naked! Can you sign it for me?" Uhhh....no.

The week before that, I met Sean Astin, of Lord Of The Rings fame. He was very cool. He signed a copy of The Fellowship for Matt. He even put a smiley face on it.

Who would have thunk that Barnes and Noble in West Palm Beach would attract so many famous people?

OH, and here is my random thought...

I just finished the most AMAZING book. It's called Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, by Jonathan Safran Foer. At certain points, I was actually weeping. It's a poignant, gorgeous, off-beat and crazily inventive book about a little boy who's father died in the Trade Center. He finds clues his father left him a year after his death and goes on a quest all over New York City to try to solve the puzzle. It was sometimes painful to read because of the 9/11 aspect, but it was worth it.

It was so worth it.

I really want to write to the author but I can't seem to find his address anywhere. Any ideas on how to track him down other than sending a letter to the publisher?

DON'T MESS WITH A ROCKCHICK!

I LOVE SATELLITE RADIO.

Here is part of the reason why. This is an email I sent the CRAPPY local radio station. They play nothing but the same 20 songs over and over, day after day, with zillions of commercials in between. They have NO BALLS.

So, I sent an email telling them how bummed out I was, because I've been listening to the station for 10 years. BUT...There is a REASON why I made the switch. Read my email to the dickheads at WPBZ in West Palm Beach, Florida:

Dear (dickhead),

I'm not sure if you are the person to say this to or not, or even if it matters what I think, but here goes.

I've been listening to the Buzz for ten years. I've been loyal. But lately, I've noticed a decline. It started with the loss of the Morning Buzz team, but that was the tip of the iceberg. The Buzz takes no chances anymore. For example, I called the other night to request a song by a very talented up-and-coming band, Louis XIV. They were named one of Rolling Stone's 10 Bands To Watch in 2005 and they have been featured in commercials, on television, in ads and video games, and all over the place. I called to request their single and was told that since it did not do well
on "Dropping Trou," it was dropped from the play list. I can't express to you how angry that made me. The Buzz uses Dropping Trou to judge whether or not a band is worthy of air time? Don't you think that is flawed? I didn't hear it, no one I know heard it, or else we would have called to say we love the song and we love the band.

Due to that experience, I decided to give up listening to the Buzz. I bought satellite radio, along with a group of people I know who were also furious with the Buzz for its lack of balls, for lack of a better term. Wouldn't you know it, one of the first songs I heard when I tuned in to Sirius, was Finding Out True Love Is Blind by Louis XIV.

Figures, doesn't it?

Corporate Radio will die if it doesn't start taking chances. I would much rather pay for radio and hear new and interesting things minus the endless stream of commercials than listen to the same 20 songs over and over again.

You guys are losing listeners left and right. I don't know if you realize it or not. Take some advice from someone who used to be loyal and do something. quick. Expand your Buzz Junior segment...just let those artists into the main airplay! You will find that people will LOVE hearing new things and saying they heard it before anyone else did. I'm sad! I used to love the Buzz, but because you had no real reason not to play one of my favorite bands, I'm done with Corporate Radio. Infinity needs to wake up.

Sincerely,
Amy Bower

NOW, HERE IS THE DICKHEAD'S RESPONSE:

Thanks for noticing the decline...we've been working really hard on
it...enjoy the satellite...
How much are you paying a month for radio that could care less about you? Just for the heck of it, the reason we didn't play Louis XIV is because the song sucked...no one tells us what to play. We make our own decisions! Lastly when you write an email to someone telling them how much they suck don't expect a friendly reply...
signed, dickhead ...and yes our listeners matter...the ones who care to write constructive criticisms......

Isn't that mature and professional?
THIS IS WHY I LOVE SATELLITE RADIO! BECAUSE UNLIKE WHAT DICKHEAD SAYS, THEY CARE ENOUGH TO PLAY EVERYTHING THEIR SUBSCRIBERS WANT. THEY PLAY UP AND COMING ARTISTS. THEY ***DON'T DO PAYOLA***

SCREW CORPORATE RADIO.
SCREW THE FCC.

LONG LIVE GOOD MUSIC. I AM PAYING FOR RADIO JUST FOR THE CHANCE TO HEAR IT ON A REGULAR BASIS.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Ames

VISIT THE BUZZ'S WEBSITE AND TELL THEM THAT THEY SUCK AND THAT THEY SHOULD PLAY LOUIS AND OTHER FLEDGLING BANDS

Even though it took 3 years... it was worth the wait!

Louis XIV at The Loft in Atlanta, GA
We finally met Mark! (Sorry, we don't have a pic with him, will post an old one later with further show details.) Hanging out with Brian was awesome... probably as good as the show itself! If these guys play a show anywhere near you, GO! They are amazing. Thanks guys, for being so damn cool with us... again!

Guitar Players Do It With Their Hands

I agree with most of the songs on the list still, but here are some new ones:

Michael Buble - Feeling Good - Alright, alright, I know this song is not rock and roll. It's not even close. I know people's grandmas listen to Buble. BUT THIS SONG IS HOT! His voice is stunning. It just...yearns...to be stripped to. I'm serious. It's freakin' hot. TRUST me.

Frederico Aubele - Postales. This is a great latin dance number. I seem to have developed a serious **thing** for latin women. And this song is a sexy beat with lilting spanish guitar and a soft, seductive vocal track that is just...hot.

Snow Patrol - Ways and Means - no words can describe it. just listen.

Gina Gershon - My Favorite Sin (from the Prey for Rock And Roll sdtrk.) - This one is so dirty and gritty. If you haven't seen Prey For Rock And Roll, I highly recommend it. It's got rocker chicks in leather pants, a raw, powerful soundtrack, and...Gina Gershon. GINA! COME ON!

Louis XIV - Louis XIV - This song makes me want to get naked. Is that bad? All the Louis songs, as Elaine said, are sexual. BUT THIS ONE....has the infamous line it, spoken over a scorching guitar like Jason has pushed you up against the wall and is purring it into your ear:

Who's your daddy?

It's me.



I also really like "Pledge Of Allegiance." I can't get over how hot it is to be told to "Keep this between me and you, OK?" Yipe. "Yes, of course. I won't tell a soul. If you do that again."

Turn Me On

Ok, so this is a pretty old list, but after re-reading it, the songs I entered still do it for me. What about you, Ames?

But I think we need to add to it.

And I think we need a rule for the songs that we add. Since this list was orginally written back when Amy and I were still single, oh so long ago, there was a certain... naughtiness behind most of the songs. SO, I think we should add to the list, but try to only add songs that turn us on in a dirty way, not in a "oh honey, you are so sweet to me, let's do it" kind of way. Because let's face it, nothing keeps a marriage hot like good old fashioned, dirty lust. {insert salacious grin here}

Without further ado:
Songs That Get Us Hot

Sweet Emotion Aerosmith -- It's a long story

Physical NIN version -- Reznor, growling, primal...

Turn Me On performed by Norah Jones -- reminds me of making out with a guy in the
corner of a smoky jazz club.

The Only Time Nine Inch Nails "This song is about.... FUCKING." The noise
he makes in the middle of the song.

The World in My Eyes Depeche Mode -- makes you wanna bump and grind.

Eleventeen Convoy -- This song is sex. Good, old fashioned, dirty sex. And DAMN do I love those drums! YEAH!

Downfall Trust Company -- It rocks so hard it makes Amy wanna rip her clothes off in a frenzy. (Note: Do not listen to this while driving...)

Delirium by Terra Firma (from Tomb Raider Sdtrk) -- Angelina Jolie in the shower. 'Nuff said.

The Fuse Bruce Springsteen -- grinding beat, that voice, an unbearably sexy little song with a life-affirming message behind it.

Fire ala Bruce Springsteen -- OH. MY. GOD. This is all Amy has to say about it.

Aqueous Transmission Incubus -- Well, okay, this one isn't full on
grope-me-now music, but it gets me going because of Brandon Boyd's silky voice and the relaxed, summer-afternoon feel of it.

Is Patience Still Waiting The Julianna Theory -- The lead singer of this band is REALLY HOT and this song is a loud, melodic, rock-your-hips-to-the-beat amazement. The way certain parts of the song are screamed really gets me going.

Wicked Garden Stone Temple Pilots -- BURNNNNNN! BURN! BURN! Burn your wicked garden down...

Smooth Santana with Rob Thomas -- Normally Rob Thomas' voice annoys me to the point where I want to shake him until he stops whining; but I think Santana's incredible, spine tingling guitar mellows out the voice. Or maybe Thomas doesn't whine so much in this song. Either way, this song really does it for me, I just want someone to do what Santana does to his guitar on my spine. Ummmmm hmmmmm.

Anything by Louis XIV Ok, so this will seem kind of kiss ass-y, but seriously, listen to the music and try *not* to have dirty thoughts. Impossible!

Sweet Emotion (in My Pants)

I know this isn’t a particularly original thing to confess, but Joe Perry has always done it for me. There isn’t any one thing that stands out for me; it’s just him. I want to do naughty things to him. I enjoy planning them.

When I was in high school I had a plan: I was going find a way to meet Aerosmith so that when they got inducted into the Hall of Fame I could give the speech. I even started to write it, confident that if my mere existence didn’t make Joe Perry fall instantly in love with me, my words would. Here’s a taste:

When I was five, I wanted to be Madonna. When I was twelve I wanted to be Janet Jackson. When I was sixteen I wanted Joe Perry.

Well, the boys got inducted without my wonderful speech and I moved on to Plan B. I would somehow manage to become a roadie for the band, get access to Joe Perry and convince him to wear nothing but tight, shiny, leather pants all the time. (I aim high, I know.)

So, in a feeble attempt to get access, I bought tickets to see Aerosmith from the grass section of a northern Virginia amphitheater in September, 2001. (They had a second stage in the grass, I was like, THIS close for a whole ten minutes.)

The concert was amazing. They played some of their absolute best songs and played them with more energy than I don’t even know what. Toward the end of the night the guys started to play “Sweet Emotion.” I love this song. I love the fat ass bass, I love the dulcimer, I love all the hooks. Of course, they jammed and made the song about ten minutes long. This is when the moment of glory occurred.

Joe Perry, wearing some flimsy shirt and tight tight pants, balanced his guitar between his thighs and fingered the neck with his left hand. With his right hand he reached back to his amplifier and started to twist the knob.

Now, I know Aerosmith jams on Sweet Emotion almost everytime they play it. Yes, I have seen Joe Perry play with his knobs many times. I get that technically, there was nothing special about it. But there was something about that performance, that night, that really resonated.

Thank GOD for the cameraman. Since I was standing miles away in the grass area, there is no way I ever would have gotten the erotic charge that I did had that INCREDIBLE cameraman not zoomed in on Joe Perry’s guitar and stayed there for the entire spectacle.

I stood in the middle of all the grass, jaw at my feet, at a loss for what my next plan would be to get access to this man and do terrible things to him.

Amy was with me and while she also appreciated the moment, she couldn’t help but laugh when she saw my reaction. (We are both convinced that the cameraman was actually a woman.)

I spent the rest of the night in a half stupor, re-living the moment over and over. (Every time I hear that song, at the very least, I squirm, at best…)

As we were getting ready to leave Amy and I were talking about the glorious moment. A girl who must have been around fifteen turned to us and said “Joe Perry has nice boobies.”

Honey, Joe Perry has nice EVERYTHING.

Someone Out There Loves Us

And thank God for that. We just found out that Louis XIV has a bunch of dates on the East Coast. YEAH! It has literally been *years* since we have seen the guys live. Can you believe it? And let me tell you... a lot happens in a few years. Anyway, since the guys have thrilled us with a fabulous EP (buy it, you know you want it) and have a record and a tour that extends outside of Cali, I thought it only appropriate that I remind people of what started the rock chicks fan frenzy in the first place. It was back when they were in a little band called Convoy...

CONVOY LIKED MY BOX…

OF DONUT HOLES.

So, everyone knows that Convoy is an (albeit teeny tiny) obsession of the Rock Chicks. The following little tale is a big part of the reason why. We saw them a few months ago (3 years ago!!!) at the 8X10 club in Baltimore. We were pretty big fans by then from seeing them earlier with Better Than Ezra at the NorVa.

I wanted to do something to make us stand out and make us memorable in the minds of the guys in the band. So, I thought about it, and what did I come up with? DONUT HOLES! All of the Convoy fans out there will understand why. So, I went to the donut shop and bought a big box of 50 donut holes. I decorated the outside of the box (“ROCK CHICKS!” and “CONVOY ROCKS THE CASBAH!” etc, etc.) and stuck it in a plastic bag.

When we got to the 8X10 we found out from this really cool booking guy that the guys were out getting sushi. We went into the club after getting past the incredibly scary, Jabba-the-hut-with-tattoos bouncer. We encountered Danny The Merchandise guy first. DANNY WAS COOL!! We gave him the password and he gave us lessons on how NOT to drive an RV. We let him get back to hanging Convoy posters, and were in the middle of plotting how to swipe one, (we never actually accomplished that feat) when in walks Jason Hill. Helllllllo Jason Hill. I caught site of him, and meandered (okay, okay, I sort of leaped) over to him to deliver the donut holes. He looked at us like we were crazy at first, but I think he realized we were just (and are just) VERY devoted fans. I gave him the donut holes and was very amused when this light bulb went off in his head and he looked up at me “OH! YOU were the one that sent that email!” YES! YES I WAS! (I had asked them what donut hole flavors they preferred. They didn’t write back. I don’t blame them. They had NO IDEA how cool we were then. They probably thought I was some nut job with a pastry fetish.) Then, he wanted to bum twenty bucks off us. LISTEN UP PEOPLE! BUY THEIR ALBUMS SO THE GUYS IN CONVOY DO NOT HAVE TO BUM MONEY OFF THEIR FANS! NOT THAT I MINDED! He gave it back like five minutes later.

We talked to Jason, and then he left the club, headed for the tour RV with the donut holes in tow. Jokes ensued about Jason holding my box, etc. We won’t get into it. One by one, the rest of the guys either a) talked to us or b) walked by looking frightened. Brian was EXTREMELY cool. Mike, their lighting guy, caught site of us and said “OH! You’re the ones that gave us the donut holes!” WE WERE SO IN!

The show started and it was like the guys were playing just for us. They would occasionally look down from the stage and smile at us. They watched us get into the show and we got the feeling that they were slightly glad we were there. We were happy to be there, they really know how to rock and they played a GREAT set in spite of a few technical difficulties and some idiot drunk guys yelling at them to play “Wet Cement.”

AFTER the show, we hung out with them some more, I showed them my tattoo, I scared Jason by offering to get a Convoy tattoo, Robbie looked afraid of us, Shaun did too, Brian was STILL cool, and Mark was…well, Mark was there and he looked really happy. We took pictures with the aid of a homeless photographer, bought stickers, which promptly went on my car, and watched the guys load their stuff into the beat-up Winnebago. ONCE AGAIN…. GO OUT AND BUY THE CD SO WE CAN GET THESE GUYS THE BIG SEXY TOUR BUS THEY DESERVE!!!! There were offers to be roadies, compliments on their new material, and general merriment all around.

I gotta say, that was the best rock and roll moment I have had since the very first time I saw Nine Inch Nails live. In fact, it was even better, because the guys were so damn cool. They should never wonder why we are such HUGE fans of theirs. The music itself would have done it, but the fact that they are SUCH nice guys puts them in a league of their very own. Plus, they ate out of my box. That was pretty cool too. Heh heh.

This is Louis, our new child. :-) Guess who he is named after? C'mon, take a guess... 

May 3rd Anyone?

Reznor said 5/3/5 on his site, anyone wanna place bets? ;-)

a note from the newlywed...

I won't be pontificating and stressing about the release date of With Teeth, because my ten years plus of devoted fanhood of Mr. Trent Reznor have led me to develop a state of zen regarding El Rezzo's habit of dicking around in the studio for years and years and picking at an album until it has finally FINALLY satisfied his OCD. I have learned over the years to take Mr. Reznor with a grain of salt and to concentrate on other great music that's out there (the Killers, Keane, LOUIS XIV!, (Elaine is gonna be mad at me for putting them third...), etc.)until the Dark Prince bestows another masterpiece on my ears.

Oh yeah...Louis XIV news...their CD has popped up in my database! Which means...I can sell their CD! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! JANUARY 25TH!! ILLEGAL TENDER! GO BUY IT!!!

About the SUV thing....I have also noticed the trend. I have also noticed a distinct correlation between the appearance of a rebel flag/Nascar logo/giant number 3/Calvin pissing on something/jesus fish, etc. coinciding with the appearance of a Bush sticker. I'm not saying there is any relation, that's just what I've seen.

That is all from the freshly married rockchick.
I still have cruise ship vertigo. It's like being drunk, but not as fun. You get all the dizziness and disorientation but none of the mindless stupidity.

Observation

Lately I've been noticing that damn near every person who plastered a George W. Bush sticker on their car is driving a big-ass, hard to see around, gas guzzling, giant accident causing, smog encouraging, waste of money SUV. And mostly luxury SUVs at that -- you know, the ones where the 4 wheel drive is a complete waste? I wonder, is this a coincidence? Or are more and more people ok with lining our sorry ass president's pockets with dirty oil money? hmmmmmmmm

OH! Trent Reznor posted on his site. With Teeth is done. Now, you might think this news would calm Amy down... watch she's gonna have 57 thousand posts now about when is the release date and how he better not change the date, etc. I would roll my eyes, but honestly, the whole thing is just a touch on the funny side to me. Hee hee! Love you, girl!